Tag Archives: doctorate

Layover Reframe

The first text from Southwest Airlines came this morning at 8:24 PHX time. My flight home to Austin was delayed about half an hour. Throughout the morning, I got alternating texts; my flight was on time or it was delayed. They couldn’t quite make up their minds. I got on my flight from PHX to HOU without too much concern for how it would play out, assuming the 30 minutes wouldn’t make too much difference. When the plane touched down, along with everyone else, I pulled out my phone and turned it on. Suddenly it’s blowing up with texts from Southwest that my flight is delayed until well after 10. As I sit here typing, the latest is a departure of 11:10. Ack. I’m tired, irritated, and I just want to be at home. While texting with a friend of mine, she asked for my high and low from the conference previously mentioned and I listed the current layover delay as a low. Her reframe:

“It’s the universe’s way of getting you to slow down and reflect one last time before jumping feet first back into reality.”

Sounds better to me than being all pissed off about it, right? And given that I may have just talked about the importance of reflecting, here goes, y’all.

These Student Affairs conferences always leave me pondering my life, identity, choices, direction, and purpose. It’s a bucketload of items to consider, mull over, and ultimately act upon. A snippet from one of the conversations I had with a Dean of Students has stuck with me because it was about implementing and acting on your priorities. She said, “if it’s really important to you, you will find a way to make it happen.” Now isn’t that just simple, profound truth? Speak it, my new friend. While it is certainly applicable to the topic we were discussing, this nugget gave me the insight into many moments throughout the duration of the NASPA conference. I’ve been ruminating on whether or not to get my PhD for years. YEARS. There are times when I feel quite compelled to start the process, or I feel like I ought to have it, or it would be a mistake to not have it. But more often than not, I am not moved to pursue it. But if it was important to me, I would make it happen. It’s just not quite the right fit for me and my life, at least right now. It was actually a great relief to be able to tell people this time around that I’m just not ready to commit to it, and I’m okay with that. Cause y’all, “when are you going for your PhD?” is a common question at these conferences and you have to be ready to deal with it.

Generally speaking, though, I think this is advice worth printing out and putting on my bulletin board – sort of the modern day version of embroidering a little pillow or something, yes? If a work project is important to me, I will make it happen. If a personal life choice is important to me, I will make it happen. If a goal is important to me, I will make it happen. Bam. Git’r done. Otherwise, life keeps moving and things don’t get accomplished. Sometimes, perhaps, what is important to you might not be important to other people, but friend, those other people are not living your life. They don’t look at you every day in the mirror. You do. So if it’s important to you, get busy doing and figuring out how to make it happen. You got this!

What are you going to get busy doing because it’s important to you? Anything that you felt you should do because it was important to other people that you can take off your plate because it’s not actually a priority for you? I give you permission for that. It’s your plate and your life.

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