As a general life rule, I believe that words matter. I get prickly when I’m referred to as a “girl” or a “guy” because I am neither of those. I don’t believe it’s funny to call a friend a derogatory name and claim it’s “just joking.” The words we choose to speak make a difference and impact those around us. I feel very strongly about this.
Except, apparently, if I’m talking to or about myself.
Y’all, I have terrible self-talk and it is shameful. For review, here are a few examples:
- “I hope dinner is good enough tonight.”
- “I didn’t get enough done at work today. I don’t know what I did wrong.”
- “I messed up the timing on dinner. I’m sorry it’s going to be ruined.”
- “I didn’t do a good enough job making the grocery list and managing the coupons so we overspent.”
My list could go on. Certainly, you get the picture. In the last few weeks, I’ve realized that I’m constantly telling myself that I’m not good enough. That my work is not good enough. That my efforts at XYZ are not enough. This is the message that I’m giving to myself in my brain or out loud a number of times throughout the day. Sheesh! When did I get to be so hard on myself? When did I decide that I wasn’t good enough for me? I doubt I’m the only one with the tough self-talk, amiright?
I think that part of tackling Enough! as my word for 2014 is changing how I speak. This is definitely a difficult habit to break and accountability is never a bad thing, so feel free to check in on my progress from time to time. I need to remind myself that I am a good cook. Dinner will be good. I work hard every day and give it my best shot. That’s all that I can do or can be expected of me. We are not going to go broke because I missed a sale or a coupon. There is enough time, money, food, energy, and me for what is needed every day. There is enough.
Many years ago, I had this terribly weird habit of saying, “I just can’t take it!” in response to a variety of situations. The Internet is loading too slowly? “I just can’t take it.” It’s a bazillion and one degrees outside and I’m melting the minute I walk outside? “I just can’t take it.” Someone acts a fool and irritates me? “I just can’t take it.” Then one weekend, I was at my grandmother’s and I said it one too many times in front of her. We were in the Walmart parking lot, I believe, and she grabbed my arm something fierce and said, “you stop saying that right now! Your brain will keep hearing that and start to believe you can’t take it and that is false!” I was so taken aback that there wasn’t anything I could do except stutter that I didn’t really mean it and okay, I would stop. I’m pretty sure I didn’t say it again. I’ve thought about that moment over and over again the last few weeks as I’ve wondered what message I’m sending to myself every time I open my mouth with some variation of “you are not enough/you didn’t do enough.” What lies.
Scarcity wants me to believe that I am not enough, but I am no longer buying what is on the shelf. If you struggle with negative self-talk, I encourage you to consider the message, the lies that have been sold to you. I encourage you that you are enough. You have enough. I’m sure I won’t be perfect in my efforts, but henceforth, I’m working to remind myself that I’m enough, regardless of the situation. Won’t you join me?