Harder Than It Looks

It’s not always easy to find peace. This should not be news to me, although in this moment I am quite frustrated with said fact. If it were easy to find peace, I think we’d certainly have fewer wars; people would be on fewer medications; there would be fewer broken relationships; lives would likely be simpler and more enjoyable. But here we find ourselves in complicated, stressful, non-peace-filled lives. Thus, I continue my search for peace in my life, despite a week filled with obstacles.

It seems to me, the partial recipient, that having declared “peace” as my goal for the year it has gotten increasingly harder, actually, to find and hold on to peace. It’s been a very difficult week for me in multiple areas of my life: work, relationships, faith, money, and health. I believe my success in everything to be that I have – to the best of my recollection – avoided using the word “anxious” to describe how I felt about any of it. I’ve done a lot of deep breaths and asking myself, “peace where are you today?” I’ve kept silent in moments in an effort to keep the peace. I’ve repeated, “this too shall pass” and “just make it through the day.” Not exactly where I want to be with peace, but sometimes you have to start somewhere.

Perhaps I should not be surprised that I am having a harder time finding or experiencing peace now that I have claimed it as a part of my new 2012 life. I recently read someone else’s blog where she wrote about how her first four days with her 2012 word were practically a disaster and she was ready to throw in the towel. But she isn’t going to and neither will I. Maybe it’s not always about having peace in a given moment, but about the journey to peace, or the process of finding peace when it seems like there is none. Perhaps right now it’s also about practicing being calm in a situation when normally I would be losing my mind. You don’t lose weight without practice in making the right eating choices. I won’t have peace in my life without the opportunity to practice choosing peace when freaking out or being stressed is also an option. The question then is, what will I choose?

How do you choose peace? When you have a choice to choose serenity and calmness in a situation, or to go the other road, which is perhaps easier, what works for you in choosing peace? I’d love to hear your tips!

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